Mel B on raising confident daughters following her 'unhealthy relationship' with ex-husband Stephen

May 2024 · 4 minute read

The Spice Girls singer has three children Phoenix, Angel, and Madison

If anyone knows how to start over, it's Melanie Brown. Having risen from the ashes of a toxic ten-year relationship, the feisty Spice Girl has rebuilt her life with the same zeal that won her a place in one of the most successful girl bands in history.

She's also written a best-selling book and become a campaigner against domestic violence while successfully raising three children – Phoenix, now 25, Angel, 16, and 12-year-old Madison.

In her 20s, as Scary Spice, Melanie was responsible for inspiring a generation with girl power.

Now 48 and having written a detailed account of her marriage to the film producer Stephen Belafonte – which she says was emotionally, physically, and financially abusive – in her memoir , Melanie is bringing up her children to be aware of the dangers of damaging relationships. 

Like her mum, Phoenix is a patron of Women's Aid, helping younger girls and women under the age of 20. 

"They've been around an unhealthy relationship," Melanie exclusively says in this week's issue of HELLO! out now. "They've read my book. They also know that three women a week are killed by their abusive partner.

"We talk a lot in our house. It's so important, especially with kids who are in their teens, or coming up to them, as their hormones are all over the place. I always teach them: 'Just be kind – treat somebody how you'd like to be treated and don't be a pushover.'"

Her children – Phoenix, from her marriage to dancer Jimmy Gulzar, Angel, whose father is Hollywood actor Eddie Murphy, and Madison, her daughter with Stephen – were brought up to appreciate the value of things and to be "aware of what they had and what other people didn't have". "They are quite considerate – and stingy," she jokes.

Reflecting on her age, having been in the Spice Girls spotlight since she was a late teen, Melanie says: "You are as old as you feel. Numbers aren't relevant. You can have a bit of a panic when you come into your 40s, because you haven't got things quite as you thought they were going to be. You have some of your hardest challenges. But there's also something really freeing about it. 

"I don't know if it's because you're putting yourself out there, or just ready for it in life. But there's a lot to be said about women in their 40s because they're more aware and self-assured. It's an age not to mess with."

It has taken her several years, however, to reach this point in her own life. In 2018, Melanie wrote her memoir , which was republished this week with three new chapters, describing how she started again "from ground zero".

She is, she acknowledges, still a work in progress, and "on a path to self-healing". But it takes time. 

Wedding bells

"It's about claiming back your power, and that's not easy when you've been left devastated, physically and emotionally," she says of her former life. "The scars may not be visible, and you have to rewire everything because somebody has taken control of every aspect of your being, but in a drip-drip fashion, so you're not aware of it. It's passive-aggressive and presented as: 'I'm looking after you.'

"They take over everything – your car keys, your credit card – so it's like learning to walk and talk again; to have your opinions back and remember who you are. 'How do I start a bank account? Where do I live? What do I wear?' It's excruciating at times, because you've been left hollow. You have to remind yourself what baby steps you've taken."

"I know I'm getting better," she adds with confidence. "I'm more in my own skin, I'm more forgiving of myself."

To read the full interview, pick up the latest issue of HELLO! on sale in the UK now. You can subscribe to HELLO! to get the magazine delivered free to your door every week or purchase the digital edition online via our Apple or Google apps.

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